A Moment With Ian

Kick'n it Kampala Style

A little less than a year ago we took our son Ian out of his school, away from his Pittsburgh neighborhood, friends, and church and shipped him across the ocean to start a new adventure in Uganda.  Here’s a little check in I had with him to see how he’s doing, what he’s learned, and what he thinks about his African adventure.    

How are doing?

Good (we’re off to a solid start)

What do you think about Uganda? What’s your favorite part?

Hmmm… I like going on Safari and going Swimming.

When did you do that?

Well we went up to Murchison (Murchison Falls National Park), and we can go swimming anytime because it’s always sunny here.

What was the coolest thing you saw on Safari?

I would say crocodiles.

Did you wrestle any of them?

Noooo

Where did you see them?

When we were on the boat

Do you think it would be fun to be crocodile?

Maybe (He’s very political… doesn’t want to get boxed in on the crocodile issue)

(At this point our interview is interrupted by my 2-year-old daughter, Naomi, yelling: “I want ice cream”)

Ian and his class mates doing the "Mexican Hat Dance"  

What’s the biggest difference that you have seen between here and our home in the U.S.?

It has walls

Walls?

Yeah all the houses have walls around them, and a lot of places are made out of tree trunks and mud cause there’s a lot of poor places (Not exactly how I would describe it but I see what he’s getting at)

What’s different that has been a nice surprise?
It’s really sunny  (wouldn’t have thought it would have been a surprise that it’s sunny on the Equator)

(Naomi is again informing us of her interest in having Ice Cream… actually that sounds pretty good right now)

What do you miss about Pittsburgh?

There are a lot funner things to do there than here.  And I miss them and chicken nuggets… good chicken nuggets (Anyone want to mail us some Chick-fil-a?). 

What are the funner things you miss?

Play places.  You know like… the mall

(Of all the things he misses the mall… I’ve failed as a father.  Naomi chimes in repeating, “I want to go to the Mall”)

Interview Intermission while I try to stop Naomi from screaming about the mall. 

Welcome to the Jungle

So you were saying that you miss fun places.

I miss the Children’s Museum.  I miss going with my friends. Especially my friend Sebastion.

(He misses museums and friends. I guess I haven’t totally failed as a father)

What do you think about the work that mommy does here?  How would you describe her job to other people?

I like it

How would you explain what she does?   

She helps people when people try to take their land and push down their houses

Sounds like the big bad wolf blowing down houses

Noooo…. the big bad wolf doesn’t exist

How does she help?

She sends people to arrest them, but I don’t know the rest

What do you want to do when you grow up? 

I want to be a storywriter.

What kind of stories?

(Naomi starts yelling, “I’m hungry”)

Well I haven’t started yet

Tell me about some of the characters you have made up

Well there’s Goo Man he shots Goo out of his hand to stop villains

Fire Ball shoots fire out of his hand.  He’s a hero.  (I think I’d go with Fire Ball instead of a guy who shoots snot out of his hand)

The neighborhood gang admiring the "Dawntreader"

(Naomi interjects repeatedly yelling, “I want to watch dora … super baby dora”.  This results in our third intermission)

If you can be any super hero who would you be?

Can I be two?  Green Lantern and Super Man…. their powers together are really powerful and I would stop bad guys

Who would win a battle between both of them?

Super Man is the most powerful and green lantern is second.

Alright, always bet on the man of steal.

Re-Entry

Ian and his boys

A month ago I woke up in my bed here in Uganda disoriented from 30 hours of travel and time changes the day before, and I asked myself, “what do I do here again?”  Well, to quote Shawshank Redemption “get busy living or get busy dying.”  Here’s some of the highlights of the last month.

Micro Brewery Visit

In Kampala is a night club, (Venom or Viper.. not sure… something that will kill you and starts with a v… I always say it wrong) that claims to be East Africa only microbrewery.  A couple friends and I decided to check it out and sample their oat sodas.  Not wanting to experience the “club” aspect we went early around 8 pm. 

Although it was empty you could see they spent some serious money on the place, evidenced by the light up dance floor, flat screens, and plush seats.  The sound system blared late 90’s rap and r & b.  We walked through the VIP room to see the brewing tanks decked out in neon lights which made them look like the engine room of the starship enterprise.  I guess the owners were like, people like clubs and people like micro brews, why not combine them.  The combination feels a little weird, like gum and nuts, both enjoyable but maybe not at the same time.      

We found a booth but had a hard time getting beverage service as most of the staff were still in a meeting.  Finally we got some Chocolate Stout that was pretty good.  The only problem was that it is was then hard to drink a Ginger Lime Ale after drinking a dark beer… rookie mistake.   We also ordered “nachos.”   When they arrived an hour later they looked like little meatballs.  Apparently nachos meant globs of tomato relish on a cracker with a dollop of sour cream on top.  Overall good times, good beer, weird vibe. 

Rafting

With his time in UG coming to a close, our housemate Tim organized a rafting trip on the Nile.  Although it was a little unnerving to hear the air leaking out the boat as we started we had a great time lead by an expert guide and surrounded by a crew of kayakers that were there to catch people and paddles when they were catapulted out of the boats.  The Nile is a little bio-polar with manic rapids and then long stretches of calm.  Our boat never flipped we all got thrown once.  I’ll let the pictures do most of the story telling here.   

Watch that first step 

A Formidable Crew

Duck and Cover

Tim Falling Out

Me Laughing at Tim Falling Out

Splish Splash.. Taking a Bath

Let's Go Surf'n Now

Birthday Parteee

To celebrate the existence of Kathryn and myself on this planet we had a little party.  Stealing a page from our days in Athens Ohio we made it a talent show party, starting of with the youngest attendees dancing around to the Harlem Shakes.  Talents included limericks, headstands, capitals of the world, ventriloquist (sort of), bad jokes, singing, and my favorite a beat box and rap about the Wilkes Family. 

It was awesome to have settled in enough that we could invite friends for a party.  Unfortunately as we looked around the room about a fourth of the people will be gone in a couple months or less.  Such is the life of the expat. 

Everybody have fun Tonight...Everybody Wang Chung Tonight

Dropping some knowledge

Six Months of Knowledge

Living the Good Life in the U.G. 

We have just passed our 6 month anniversary of our arrival here in Kampala.  After reviewing of our time I’ve come up with the following list of lessons learned. 

Things I’ve learned in my first 6 months

•   Wear sunglasses and avoid eye contact with the traffic police so when they try to pull you over you can pretend you didn’t see them and keep driving.

•   Guinness Foreign Stout is not the same as Guinness. 

•  When buying Raybans from a vendor it’s a good idea to buy two because they will soon be broken. 

•    Although you have to obey the traffic laws, motorcycles and farm animals do not. 

• When playing chicken with a baboon I will lose. 

•  “I’m coming” can mean I’ll be there in a few days.

•  Playing in the Nile is Awesome but the Bilharzia sickness you get a month later sucks.

•  When buying something always ask for a bonus.  

•    If you have furniture made it will probably look nothing like what you asked for.   

•   You can transport anything on the back of a boda (motorcycle).

•   Storks kind of freak me out.

•   Anything can pass as a foreign drivers license (a friend of mine uses his tae kwon do id).

•   When it looks like your kids are playing with a rubber lizard it’s actually a real but dead lizard. 

Just a Touch of Malaria

Hello.. Doctor....

So it appears that we’ve reached that chapter in our time here where we get the crap beat out of us through sickness brought on from transitioning to a tropical environment.  We’ve spent the last weekend trying to purge the whole family of Bilharzia, an infection caused by snails in the water of the Nile and Lake Victoria.  Taking the medicine to eradicate those little buggers actually amplifies the symptoms (nauseau, high fever, body aches, chills, headaches, etc..) you were feeling to begin with.  Kathryn claims it might be the worst she's ever felt.  There has been much weeping and gnashing of teeth, as well as vows to never go near the Nile again. 

This is after only recently recovering from a mystery illness that had me hospitalized overnight and requiring many bottles of saline.  I woke up a little drowsy one morning after feeling fine the night before.  I went into the bathroom to get ready, but felt a little confused on the proper processes.  I proceeded to try to brush my teeth with my deodorant.  After a couple attempts I concluded that I was definitely doing something wrong, and decided to work on getting dress.   I thought I was doing ok till Kathryn asked why I was putting multiple button down shirts over top of each other.    I said oops, and tried again to get some pants only to realize I again had grabbed a shirt.  This happened two more times. 

Finally I was ready, well sort of, for breakfast.  I don’t remember much but apparently I poured myself a large bowl of milk, without cereal, and was very concerned about which seat was mine at the table.  I was eventually sent to bed and spent the remainder of the morning, vomiting, writhing in agony, and breaking glasses or anything breakable within reach.   Kathryn dragged me to the Surgery in the afternoon were they concluded that I “had some kind of infection.”  

By the way I do not recommend brushing your teeth with your deodorant.   

The majestic site of our infection

Fun in the Sun

Say Bilharzia!

Look out for that Crocodile!

To Market, To Market, To Buy Some Fried Food

Although I’m not crazy about Ugandan gastronomy in general, I have found great delight in my trips to the market to sample local street fare.  I mean, if you fry it, almost anything will taste good.... right?  Every few days my two-year-old daughter will start repeating “Market, Market, Chapatti, Samosa.”   It is then that I know that her saturated fat levels are dangerously low.       

Samosas are one of my kids’ favorite market snacks.  At local restaurants they serve veggie or beef samosas.  At the market I have only encountered samosas filled with cow peas, which is some kind of bean.  They’re all right, but not great.  I enjoy the crispy outer dough more than the filling.  Lately I have been passing on samosas, opting instead for a couple fried sticks of cassava.  It’s kind of like a giant french fry, but a little more dried out.  It’s enjoyable with a little bit of salt on it.   Salty, fried, starch… I can get down with that.

Chowing down on Cow Pea Samosas

Another common food at the market, or along the side of the road, is roasted corn.  Women roast the corn on little fire pits made out of old wheel wells.  The corn here is not sweet corn like back in the old U.S. of A, so the first bite is pretty disappointing.  It’s more coarse and starchy, but once you adjust your expectations it can be pretty delightful.   

Hanging out with one of our favorite fruit vendors

The rolex (not the watch) is the quintessential Ugandan street food.  It’s egg mixed with shredded cabbage, fried on a cast iron griddle over coals, and then rolled up with in freshly made chapatti bread along with a little bit of sliced tomato.  Think doughy breakfast burrito.  It’s great for a big snack or a cheap meal.  They’re pretty greasy, but you’re getting protein and veggies, they're filling, and they cost less than a dollar.  They are decent as is, but I feel they need a little help to really make them good.  Last week I added some sirachia, which took it up a few notches.  

Roll it Up! Roll it Up!

Although you can get it in town, one of my favorite parts of our trips out of Kampala has been the muchomo breaks.  Along the road there are stops where vendors have a bounty of grilled meat on sticks waiting for cars and buses to stop.  It can be a little overwhelming as they rush the car waiving around skewers of charred flesh, but that’s part of the adventure.  On our way up to Gula we sampled some goat that was quite tasty, but my stomach was not happy that I decided to eat 4 sticks worth. 

A couple weeks ago we went for a hike in the Mabira Rainforest.  Near the end of our hike we crossed a main road at a chicken muchomo stop.  A quarter chicken seasoned and roasted on a stick, paired with roasted sweet bananas, tasted fantastic and was an awesome way to round out the hike.  The vendors were also helpful in showing us where the trail stated again on the other side, so double score. 

          

GOAT!

       If stateside, and getting tired of snacking on Doritos, consider coming for a visit to Kampala.  I’ll buy you a Rolex and we can wash it down with a Nile Special Premium Lager. 

Yes, we have pizza as well 

Uganda Observations

Getting used to different types of roadblocks

Not having the energy to write long communications about our transition to Uganda I resorted to short Observations on my Facebook page.  Here they are repackaged for your reading pleasure.  Somehow I lost observation 10, but I guess it wasn’t memorable anyways. 

   

Uganda Observation 14: According to the doctor I have an excess of yeast in my intestines which is common for recent arrivals. Who knew something that could bring so much joy in my life (ie bagels, beer, pizza, etc) could bring so much pain. At least I'm on the mend!

Ugandan Observation # 13: Not sure what's more annoying when the power goes out. The lack of electricity, or the sound of the neighbor's generator mocking me.

Ugandan Wildlife

Uganda Observation  #12: Even in Uganda you can catch Bieber Fever.

Uganda Observation #11: There's a vodka and gin company here that advertises 1. no hangovers and 2. makes you smell great. I don't think it would take too much work to disprove both points.

Wrangling the kiddos

Uganda Observation #9: There are no parks in Kampala. I want to make a park in my neighborhood so all the kids can play together instead of playing alone behind compound walls. I could be like Leslie Knopp... but in Uganda.

Uganda Observation #8: Going to bed under a mosquito net makes me feel like I'm a kid pretending to go camping in my bedroom.

Walking around da hood

Uganda Observation #7: Urban Farming is not a fad here. It just is. Walking around my neighborhood I pass chickens, avocado, and banana trees, corn, squash, and tomatoes. Pretty cool.

Uganda Observations #6: You can get Heinz Ketchup (412 Represent!).  Even better is that it is made with sugar instead of corn syrup.

Croc Tail!!!

Uganda Observation #5: Uganda is a Libertarian Paradise. No wasted tax dollars on those pesky things like quality roads, schools, or social services.

Uganda Observation #4: Apparently my dvd player is not dual voltage. There was a lot of smoke.

I'm the king of the world!

Uganda Observation # 3: When going to watch a football (aka soccer) game on the equator one should really wear a hat or sunscreen. I am one crispy muzungo. Related observation: bottles of cheap gin seem to be an odd choice for the most popular beverage at such an event.

Uganda Observation # 2: Razor wire on walls around houses equals an increase in punctured soccer balls.... in-turn resulting in an increase of crying little boys.

Uganda Observation #1: You can flush toilet paper. Say what you want about the Brits, at least they got that right.  

I'm a big fan of these ladies 

Ins Outs and What Have Yous

Getting some quality time with the Rhinos

It’s been a little over three months since landing in Entebbe Airport, and getting started on our new life as Ugandan residents.  It was, as expected, a rough first couple days.  At a guest house in the middle of one our first nights my son, frustrated that he couldn’t sleep because of the time change, and thirsty because we didn’t have any drinkable water yelled out, “Africa is the worst country ever!!!”  Resisting the urge to give a quick geography lesson on the difference between a country and continent, we reassured him that it would get better. 

Now we are getting to the point that it is confusing where we are referring to when we say “home.”  I see this as a positive step.  As we continue to progress in making this home I plan to chronicle some of our lives as expats in Kampala. 

            

            I’m a little bit of an odd bird around these parts.  I have yet to meet another stay at home dad, Ugandan or Muzungu (white man).  When I have the kids with me at market or at the one playground, it’s common for people to say, “hello where is their mother.”  Growing tired of this question I’ve contemplated saying she’s dead and burst into tears to see their reaction.  I guess I didn’t move here to blend in anyways. 

            

           All in all there are some pretty outstanding things about living here.  While most of my friends back in the states are bundled up and worried about their heating bills, I’m sitting outside at a café with palm trees overhead and have Dr. Seus-esque looking birds flying overhead.  When I need an adrenaline rush all I need to do is flag down a Boba Boda motorcycle taxis and go for a ride (70% of broken bones in Kampala are Boda related).  This past Saturday my wife and two kids spent the morning hiking in the rain forest, followed by a lunch of roasted bananas and chicken on a stick bought from street vendors.  Being odd is a small price to pay for outstanding climate and adventures.